The twelve days of Christmas…

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me an Edward Cullen in an oak tree;

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me two Heinekkens and an Edward Cullen in an oak tree;

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me three Stoli shirts, two Heinekkens and an Edward Cullen in an oak tree;

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me four sexpender pants, three Stoli shirts, two Heinekkens and an Edward Cullen in an oak tree;

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me five Cullen cuffs, four sexpender pants, three Stoli shirts, two Heinekkens and an Edward Cullen in an oak tree;

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me six Robsluts a-jitzzing, five Cullen cuffs, four sexpender pants, three Stoli shirts, two Heinekkens and an Edward Cullen in an oak tree;

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me seven Pattinhoors a-posting, six Robsluts a-jitzzing, five Cullen cuffs, four sexpender pants, three Stoli shirts, two Heinekkens and an Edward Cullen in an oak tree;

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me eight Robcats a-purring, seven Pattinhoors a-posting, six Robsluts a-jitzzing, five Cullen cuffs, four sexpender pants, three Stoli shirts, two Heinekkens and an Edward Cullen in an oak tree;

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me nine Robnana muffins, eight Robcats a-purring, seven Pattinhoors a-posting, six Robsluts a-jitzzing, five Cullen cuffs, four sexpender pants, three Stoli shirts, two Heinekkens and an Edward Cullen in an oak tree;

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me his ten fingers a-teasing, nine Robnana muffins, eight Robcats a-purring, seven Pattinhoors a-posting, six Robsluts a-jitzzing, five Cullen cuffs, four sexpender pants, three Stoli shirts, two Heinekkens and an Edward Cullen in an oak tree;

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me eleven CDs of his music, his ten fingers a-teasing, nine Robnana muffins, eight Robcats a-purring, seven Pattinhoors a-posting, six Robsluts a-jitzzing, five Cullen cuffs, four sexpender pants, three Stoli shirts, two Heinekkens and an Edward Cullen in an oak tree;

On the twelveth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me twelve Jack-Rabbit-vibrators, eleven CDs of his music, his ten fingers a-teasing, nine Robnana muffins, eight Robcats a-purring, seven Pattinhoors a-posting, six Robsluts a-jitzzing, five Cullen cuffs, four sexpender pants, three Stoli shirts, two Heinekkens and an Edward Cullen in an oak tree!

(still on the Christmas theme and inspired by the old traditional carol )