SantaRob is coming...

(Instigated by RaoR Pattinhoors, inspired by the Clement Clarke Moore original poem, fist verse initiated by RobsessedMuch on 8th December 09, the rest completely my own bad...)

"Twas the Night Before XmASS, and all through RAoR
Not a creature was stirring, not even a h00r.
The hobos were hung by the chimney with lust,
In hope that HisHolyHottness would come with a thrust...”

Horny Pattinsluts were all twisting in our beds,
Jizzing with RobVisions in our fevered heads,
Frantically rumpumping with whomever lucky boyfriends
Who were reaping the profit of playing Robpretends...

When out in my garden came a tremendous commotion,
A roaring and a growling of humungous proportion!
Away i flew to the window with a prayer
Fervently willing to see Rob materialized there!

The clouds that were covering the sleepy moon
Could not hide my unbelievable boon
Of the vision of His sweet Sexpender Asscandy
Alighting from a gorgeous silver bullet Maserati!

Rob was smirking his a-dorkable smirk
He was walking with his palsied jerk
He was strutting across the pale moonlight
In his open shirt and his jeans too tight...

I knew at once his assymetrical pace!
I knew at once his incomparable face!
My throat was tight, my voice was hoarse...
My Robert Pattinson! I must be dead, of course...

“Now, my gorgeous hoor, my cougar pretty,
Now, my lovely lamb, my wayward pussy,
You have been bad, you have been naughty,
Guess who’s here to fuck you silly!”

I flung my window wide open in a flash
My angel was inside with a bang and crash!
He had tripped and fallen over
I rushed to rescue my RobArt lover!

I helped him up and he felt good
He was looking fine and he was showing wood
He pulled me right up to kiss my lips
He’s so tall, i was on all toe tips...

Off came the clothes in a random heap!
Off his body my hands can’t keep!
Off both my feet he began to sweep
Off my balance as he dug furious deep...

Into the tight and dark corridor of me
He plumbed me hard and repeatedly,
His breathing was sweetly hot and fast,
He plunged and probed till i came at last!

And then he turned me quickly over
And rogered me like a mad bugger
And over and over like in a dream
Till i was awashed in Pattinsoncream...

He squeezed both my breasts real hard
And pinched my nipples till they smart
And then he turned me round again
Bit and kissed me till i grew faint...

And when at last we were breathing normally,
He introduced himself quite formally:
“My sweet lady, my name is Robert Pattinson,
And i am delighted to meet you in person.
I have often visited the RAoR website;
And enjoyed the things you ladies post and write;
And so i thought it only proper and right
To come and thank each one on the eve of Christmas night!
And since i read that what you all want in common –
To be jumped by this humble and most British person,
Why, I used the magic and miracle of the Christmas spirit
To clone and multiply myself in the numbers to fit,
And like Krishna, the randy Hindu avatar of lore
i visit to resoundingly fuck each deserving Pattinhoor!”

His eyes – how they bedazzled and beguiled!
They pulled me in, they drove me wild!
His voice seductive and easily had me hypnotized -
I was thoroughly bewizarded and mesmerised...

I sighed and snuggled into his manly chest
And ran my fingers along the trail i love the best
Until i find and touch his glistening peen
That hardened again like steel in strength and sheen!

Away we went on our carnal and bumpy journey
I was screaming my joy like an Irish banshee,
Till again i die the death most beautiful and rare
My soul and body laid spent and bare...

He laughed and giggled with unbridled glee
And proceeded to recite Shakespearean prose and poetry...
I was so turned on by his fuckhawt vowels and accent
I began to make my predatory descent...

I mouthed his organ in greedy haste,
I loved his texture, his scent and taste;
I nibbled and licked shaft, glans and testicles
Until i drained him of all juice and sperm particles!

He pulled me up and crushed his mouth on mine
And tasted his own come like a heady wine,
And then he began to renew his sexual intercourse
with my honeypot - sans resistance from me of course...

and all through that timeless night of sweet satisfaction
i thank the gods for my precious Rob-fucking-Pattinson!
And again he went down to encounter my clitoris
And used his tongue to expand and blow my bliss

Until i come and come and come and come
And he is winding me round his pinky and thumb...
At last he put his face very close to mine
And gently kissed me like it was the last time...
I stifled a quick and breathless sob –
“Please don’t go! don’t leave me Rob….”

He spoke not another word more, slipped off the bed
And pulled his silk shirt back over his head;
He wriggled into his tight Sexpender jeans and Nikes
And laughing, tossed me his Fruit of the Loom manties!

He blew me a kiss and took a courtly bow
Mouthed “I love you!” and jerked an eyebrow,
And laying a long finger aside of his nose like so,
Gave me a nod and hurdled the window!

Naked and crying, I ran to intercept his leave
My mix of gratitude and pain beyond belief,
He smirked and shot a backward glance at me
And slooped back into his Maserati!

He waved his hand and squared his jaw
And smiled the smile I will forever adore…
The engine roared like a devil under silver hood
The driver looked devastatingly handsome good…
I heard him cry as he drove out of sight
“Happy Christmas to all Pattinhoors, and to all a fucking good night!”

Oh my loves, oh my sisters!
Oh my gorgeous pervy blisters!
If only things would turn out the way that I write...
And Rob visit us all on the eve of Christmas night…

What a joy to the world it would be!
Every Pattinangel in simultaneous orgasmic fuckery!
Mmm, such a thing to want to celebrate
Rob coming to ravish me and desecrate….

Okay, now I am off to my confession
Having thoroughly fucked up the sacred tradition
Of the revered poem about the night before Christmas –
May the gods forgive every perverted one of us!

Ciao bella!