Rob-ramblings on 17/12/09

this is all so hilariously familiar
where Robsession is concerned, we are so similar
i have become so good at being surreptitious
Robperving to avoid nosy parkers being suspicious
but really i should not even try or bother
everyone knows i am a hardcore Robtwilighter!
all the staff in the cinema know me
i have just come back from New Moon # 33
but they give me badges and stuff like that
they tease and giggle and think me mad as a bat!
my hubby forgives my obsession
as he reaps his sexual satisfaction
he was just as cool when Elvis was my thing
he thinks Rob is just another “fling”…
but my daughter thinks it is highly inappropriate
as Rob is the one with whom she wishes to procreate!
and i relate EVERY single thing to Robert Pattinson
people moan, throw up hands and roll eyes in unison
“Psychologist, heal thyself”, they challenge me
they cannot see that aRob IS my psychotherapy!
but here is the deal and this is true
if they don’t get it, there is not getting through:
Rob is the most devastating pathogen in the world
if you happen to be a red-blooded woman or girl!
the infection causes behavioural transformations
makes you steal and lie to feed the addictions
makes you squeal and hang your head in shame
for your body’s response of just hearing his name…
that single monosyllable…that unitary ROB
makes me shudder and sigh, and swoon and sob
i have never seen one so terminally beautiful
never known a longing so irredeemably pitiful…
how did this intelligent woman with so little effort
become a predator stalking this young Robert?
ah, unfair life and immutable fate!
he is born years too late!
but here in this safe and anonymous fantasy
Robert is my passion and the man for me!
my lovely sisters, what wonderfully potent medicine here
to perv and jizz without shame or fear
sharing our diverse madness and insanity
for Robgorgeous, Robcute and Robpretty
a Pattinangelic and Robslutty life for us
Rob the blessing! Rob the married woman’s curse!
ciao bella!