Thank you very much….

I thank you all from the bottom of my cougar heart
every Pattinh00r and Robslut, from end to start:
What a treasure trove of sisterly affection
was accumulated here in my choice for RL defection!

Hello SmittenByaBrit, pattincake and music4debbo!
And RobCatCdn, ta for that smokin’ hot photo!
Venussleeping, nice loud singing there, my dear
And cheers torontotwicat, expatgeil and also 1peeler,
Imamess, expatgeil, deb24601 and romanySue;
Hey there Georgeygirl, a happy birthday to you too!
blinky1, drizl, bbbeee and yes, LuvRobAllDay,
ImGoinDown, your wee sweet poem capped my day!
FluffyLiz, Haystackhair and elvis4scilla
oh, how I do love the asses off the whole lot of ya!
I see you girls too, Capri and MyRobbie
I appreciated all of your shout outs on RAoR to me!


I apologise to those not named inadvertently,
you are legion and I have an eroding memory
But I love that you all took the time of day
To send your loving regards my happy way!
RL was a in a real wicked mood in truth
She was all red in jaw and claw and tooth!
But once home my hubby took me in hand
gave me the best birthday I never planned!


He said I never looked better, younger or lovelier
and he kissed and bit my neck like a horny vampire!
All our three children rolled their eyes in unison
“Dad, she likes Robert Pattinson more than Edward Cullen!”
But they don’t know their parents’ favourite fantasy
was to indulge in vampiric rape and debauchery!


Spent a lovely time over a Chinese dinner delicious
Then romped a bit more in bed with my precious…
Then off to the umpteenth screening of New Moon
with Rob’s slow mo strutting still causing me to swoon!
And then, cherry on top of birthday cake with cream,
Finally, at last, a fucking Robert Pattinson dream!!


Oh, the delightful and well-deserved ecstasy
of Robert having a conversation with me!
We were in Rio de Janiero with Jesus on the mountain
He was lost and he wanted some direction!
of course, I did not say I was a huge fan
but only that I would help him in ANY WAY I can!
I was attending a university round table conference
and so had a delegate’s priority and influence
got the hotel staff to make the right connection
so he can get back to his filming studio location
he was so thankful he caught me up in a hug
and rocked me closely like a bug in a rug
he smelt like sea water with a hint of musk
but still reduced me to a quivering husk
he said I can ask him for any favour in turn
I felt my face redden and burn
I blurted out about the letter I had sent
inviting him to support a NZ youth event
that we were planning a music and arts centre
that I wanted him to be our project ally and sponsor
that when he came to our country to film his movie
if he could come my way to help my community

He said “YES!” and he did so without any lapse
He made me stifle a sob and gasp
I could not believe my random luck
I never once thought the word “Fuck!”
He smiled and laughed most engagingly
Then kissed me on my cheek resoundingly
Asked me for my phone number and entered it
into his personal blackberry thingee, to wit!
then his car came and he had to leave
he waved goodbye and my heart did heave

Oh my goodness, oh my world
I was a happy and lucky girl
but I woke up and found my eyes wet
his luminous face I cannot forget
What a perverted kind of wish fulfilment was this?
no fucking or mackin’, only an innocent kiss!!
Ah, but I will treasure that dream all week and longer,
That fabulous Robert Pattinson dreamy close encounter!

(posted on RAoR in appreciation of warm birthday wishes for the 4th Feb)