giving it up on giving it up

I am giving it up on giving it up
I know when to call in and quit
The half that is empty in my cup
Is where my useless attempts will sit
And the other half that is full in there
Is what will give me sustaining drink
Food for thought and nourishment to spare
To dream and aspire and dare to think
That somewhere lies an improbable world
That may still come to be true at last
That somehow this besotted old girl
Will see a miracle come to pass
That day when he is standing before me in person
Beaming his beatific and mesmeric smile
Close enough to touch and be touched in turn
Spinning out the endless space of a little while
Oh, and such an unforgettable moment it will be
Watching his eyes watching my eyes watching him
Ah, and such a sublime torture it will be
Breathing out and in and breathing with him
No words no sound no speech at all
No need to articulate
I let me go and I let me fall
No need to resuscitate
I am giving it all up for it is in vain
No good will come whatsoever
Nothing to lose and less to gain
He rules he wins he is forever!