Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Global superstar for global super-peace!

Hey, Robert, can I ask you just one little wee thing?
Now you are The Global Superstar and everything…
Will you give your massive talents and appeal a huge release
And work towards getting the elusive global super-peace?

I know that all women who live in different nations
Will see the perfection of my logical calculations,
And join in this huge and wonderful conspiracy
To conquer the whole world with loving diplomacy!

That plan will put an end to all strife and war,
And will forever stop the cannon fire and roar,
That will make it too meaningless to fight
And bring resolutions to pass overnight!

If every wife, girlfriend, spouse or lover
Would nag their men endlessly and together
To put aside their differences and political spats
For their women’s enduring loyalty to Rob Pattz…

That those men who choose to stay aggressive and staid
Can forget about ever getting ravished and laid,
And all the women would take a celibate vow:
No love or sex forever and starting NOW!

And, Robert, I know that if you would only ask,
Every woman would find it such an easy task
To do you this one small and simple favour
For their most preferred and deserving award winner!

How can any red-blooded woman ever say “No”,
If you asked sweetly and if you promised to show
Your appreciation the way they would totally buy :
That into their peaceful country you will drop by?

And you’d favour them with your delightful presence,
And entertain and flirt with your adoring audience -
If only they could persuade their menfolk
To eschew their warring and macho yoke?

Oh Robert, this plan is definitely ready to rock,
Its simplicity will be such a shock!
But such a huge gamble is only going to succeed
If you gave it your consideration, and if you agreed…

Come on, my sparkling knight in shining armour,
Take up your role as the new world’s redeemer,
Save us all and rally for universal democracy!
Save the planet, save the species…and save me!

So, global superstar you, Rob, pretty please…
Will you offer yourself thus for world peace?
(Suggestion for another use for Rob's awards-winning ways...)

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