A perfect dream….

if i can dream the perfect dream...
we would be walking along a beach somewhere,
sunlight softly glinting gold flecks off his hair,
sand still warm and gently remembering
the weight of our feet as we keep wandering
off the beaten tracks where few people go
to the quiet places only we two know,
and find a spot beneath a big shady tree
to sit, rest and look out over to the sea…

where we can talk and have all the time to be
just us, just we, just him and me…
and he will tell me of the things he treasures,
his daily joys and his ordinary pleasures,
he names friends and special people he cherishes,
he shares his dreams and his innermost wishes…

He listens while I do my reciprocal disclosing
with no haste and no judgments imposing,
he looks at me with his always eyes of blue-grey,
I soon forget the entire world and the time of day…

And he honours me with his unstinting attention,
I feel I am the sole beneficiary of his holding affection…
And, of course, because he is both honest and kind,
He tells me of what is in his heart and his mind:
he is bound to others and he is really not free,
he will never be able to be with or love only me,
and though my eyes brim over with knowing tears
I have no anxieties, nor any malingering fears;

For I know that I am not the only one
Who thinks him her own personal air and sun,
Who covets and desires him with fierce commitment,
Who yearns and fantasizes with undying endearment,
Who spends each minute of the livelong night and day
Wishing and praying for him to come and stay…

I know what and how it is to love this man,
I do it because I must and I do it however I can,
For loving him and being in love with him
Is not a personal experience or a passing whim…

So I tell him again how much I love him so,
He thanks me again although he does already know,
I remind him that my love is not the possessive kind,
Love is love and its over-abundance I never would mind,
I love that so many people love him like I do
I rejoice that so many are loyal and true
I am proud to be in their easy company
And welcome the embrace of this like-minded community;

And then he takes his eventual leave,
While I once more anticipate the coming grief…
Then a sweet and lingering final kiss -
I taste the brief and poignant moment of bliss;
And as he walks away from me once more
I watch the receding silhouette I so adore
Go into the increasing distance that has come between,
And my regret is instant, my pain is keen;
But when he turns one last time to wave goodbye
I catch my breathing and let go of a sigh…
Ah, as long as he will come again,
What of this impermanent and passing pain?
Nothing, as long as I can continue to dream
My perfectly repeatable perfect dream…

(the outcome of stream-of-consciousness jizztyping...have a nice day! Love you, JC!)