An ode to the indulgent Pattinhoor men in our lives....

To all the indulgent Pattinhoor men in our lives,
For whom we are crazy-ass girlfriends, lovers and wives:
I salute you all on this considered day!
Come and listen closely to what i have to say...

Thank and bless all you patient, most empathic fellas!!
For putting up with these Robward-hooked bellas,
Finally giving up using logic to fully understand
Your women’s compulsive obsession for this Man;
For keenly making the much better decision
To indulge the state instead of derision,
And to reap the enormous fallout and benefit
Of having your women all turned-on and fully fuck-fit!

Robert Thomas Pattinson, by some quirk of fate,
Is the most compelling woman-magnet to date,
He reels us females in most irrevocably
And captures our imaginations as irretrievably!
Though we still all long and wish and sigh and yearn,
Most of us have had the occasion to soberly learn
That our adulation, though much and often appreciated,
Is never ever going to be personally reciprocated...

And so we spend inestimable hours and energy
Channeling our creative skills and digital witchery
Into displacing individual and collective talents
For ways to safely celebrate His life and presence;
Videos, poems, wallpaper, fan-fiction and porn;
Photos, screen savers etc for Real Life to adorn;
All attesting to the collective daily diet and menu
Of Rob-inspired outputs to see us through...

Real Life can suck real bad, as you probably know,
And knock your lady out and bruise her so,
So be glad she has ready access to effective interventions
In the Rob-frenzied supplies of Pattinhoor creations!
When she communes with her fellow PattinAngels and RobSaints...
And though she drools and pants and jizzes and faints –
Know that, at the end of her Robporn foraging,
She’ll be well-moisted and ready for carnal engaging!

Do not worry whom she may fantasizing about
While you are rumpumping and thrashing in and out,
You, my man, are the worthy and deserving recipient
Of your lusty hoor, full ripe and wild and hotly succulent!
You might even want to thank that innocent bystander Rob
For facilitating your woman’s throaty moans and g-spot throb!
For women, the fuck’s full magic is formed in her mind
Yet her physical desire for you is real, both faculties intertwined;
So just think of Robert as a sexual aide a la Viagra
Use him, my friend, with confident gusto and bravura!
Far from being your maligned rival for her affection
Rob enhances your sexual consummation to uber-perfection!

Your Pattinslut is that incorrigible and insatiable minx,
But Rob is never your relationship’s kinky jinx,
Give in to her pleasure and unrestricted joy
With you as the instrument for embodying that Boy;
Who knows, perchance, on some enchanted bed or floor,
She may come again and demand for more,
And you will rise like the cat’s coveted cream
To the top, slake her lust and deliver the dream!

This is a game of grand design -
You fucking her body and Rob her mind;
She needs your physical self to complete the rapture,
You are the frame and Rob is the picture!
And when you both come and reach your climaxes
You’ll do well to pay Rob his due taxes –
He is your enabler, without a doubt!
And without him, you may suffer sexual drought!

So, be grateful and leave her to Rob-fancy,
Rob-perv, Rob-surf and do Rob-pornography,
Give up your insistence to dominate her mind with grace,
Rob may be one reason but the smile remains on YOUR face!!!
So, love and treasure your randy and bawdy Pattintarts,
Embrace your wanton and raunchy Rob-sweethearts,
Buy her Rob-gifts and Rob-merchandise...
Your reward is Rob-inspired heaven fucking paradise!