Not a poem for JAG...

JAG, excellent work, as per usual. THANKS.
i would like to take a moment here to share some feedback with you.
i came to you inadvertently a couple of months ago, i think. i was on Youtube, as a newbie, and was looking for clips of our Robert Pattinson because i was, i AM, totally, “unconditionally and irrevocably in love” with him. i know, cheesy, oft-repeated…BUT still true nonetheless. For me, it was a new and exciting sensation as i have not felt this way about an artiste since i was a kid and i was so so lost to Elvis Presley. It is a long story but i was a kid with the most miserable life under the most miserable circumstances…exacerbated by the fact that i could talk to no one about what my life was like. i guess i was trying to protect all kinds of people, especially my own folks. we were poor and they were having to work so so hard just trying to keep body and soul together anyway…but long story short (don’t know if i ever am able to keep that kind of promise ever! so longwinded and inclined to go on and on and on…however…), listening to Elvis was my only way of creating a small sanctuary. Elvis is my first obsessive love. i was making all kinds of plans, as a young ignorant kid would, to grow up, save up money, leave my country and go to the place where he lived and where he was. but, of course, that never happened. i was not grown up, i did not have money, and he did not live long enough. but i will always remember, for as long as i shall live, the way i loved Elvis. i loved his music and his voice – he literally saved me and my sanity. don’t think i would have survived without him and his music. yeah, sounds cheesy, pathetic etc AND still true nonetheless. Long story short again….
Finally got to grow up and leave my country. went to another one as far away as i could go. made a brave new life. am doing it and am loving it. still miss Elvis every time i think about him or listen to him. i play his music everyday.
then saw “Twilight” movie, thought Robert a most excellent and gorgeous YOUNG actor and, whilst i appreciated his looks and his craft then, i did not think any more of it. There were other gorgeous young actors whose work i could see anytime.
But what DID engage me was the VOICE…i wondered who the singer of that haunting song was…i had to find out. it rekindled a memory of being caught breathless…the voice of an angel contemplating eternal angst and loss.
took me a while to find Robert sang “Let me sign”. i was gobsmacked. it was the actor from “Twilight”! i couldn’t quite believe it and couldn’t find the song in the shops. So i tried Google. Found a website with his 5 songs and i was totally transfixed. i had to keep going there to listen to him as i did not know how to download the music and i could not buy it etc etc.
went looking in YouTube to see what was available. wanted anything and everything to do with this incomparable talent. found a cool video made by “Wideyezz” (hope i spelt that right!), loved it and emailed her to say so. She referred me to your site…came here a couple of months ago. i am still here.
so, what i began to say was this…
i appreciate what you have done here, Just a Girl.
and you are not JUST a girl.
it seems to me that you are a girl with boundless energy, talent, dedication and generosity.
i hope you get the same amount, and more, of gratification, satisfaction and fulfillment as you have given me, and all of the others who visit here. i hope you get way way more.
this world is a difficult place to navigate for many people for many reasons. you have created a safe harbour for those of us who seek a place to rest, to breathe and to be.
i want to thank you.
i have found this wonderful community of people who share my terminal affliction – an irrational obsession with someone who will never know of my existence and my life, nor is it necessary.
the magic that Robert weaves for me is that he is the physical manifestation and reincarnation of a young lost girl’s hopes and dreams and longings. and he is alive still and just beginning in his life.
i am so so happy to be old enough now to bear witness to him, his talents and his wonderful life.
i am so happy to find company of others who are not judgemental and who share this space with such joy, abandonment and freedom.
i love this. i love them. i love you.
yes, i do go on a bit. it is how i know to be.
i wanted to say all this in case you did not get to hear it for real. the other posts are often “off the cufff”, spontaneous and, maybe, a bit flippant…
i wanted this post to you to be very considered and very intentional.
Thank you, though i do not really know you, i know all that i need to know.
“Just a girl”, Bless you, from another girl.

(written on July 24, 2009 for JAG, "Just A Girl" to express my heartfelt appreciation of her blog and the cyber-community gathered there. it also gives you a back story of how i came to be here blogging today!Love you, JAG, as always!)