Dear Robert:
Yes, we compose lurid Rob-porn and stuff
And Rob-ravish you in cyberspace…
‘cos we could never ever get enough
Rob-voice, Rob-laughter, Rob-body, Rob-face…
But we do love you as a truly gifted human
We know you’re not a fangirl’s striptease pole,
The love we covet, Robert Thomas Pattinson,
Is for Rob-mind, Rob-talent and Rob-soul!
We, Rob-pervs, Pattinsluts and Rob-lovers
We want you to really understand -
That when we imagine acts with you most perverse -
It’s because, well, it’s all that we ever can!
So, if you ever want to laugh out loud
And have a giggle at your, um, our expense,
Come and visit us, the cool RaoR crowd –
In cyberspace, let us blow off your innocence!
(We LOVE you Rob, in a pure way, of course!!)
(written on 23/07/09 in response to speculations about Rob's appearance at event)
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