At the movies on St. Patrick's Day

this is totally random and out-of-the-fucking world
but the compulsion to post is just beyond this mortal girl
just came back from seeing "Limitless" with my nice Irish hubby
on account of celebrating the feast of St. Paddy
and whose face should appear on the high wide canvas
but our darling Robert in his movie about the circus!
i was not expecting such a wonderful treat
hubby scowled as i drummed both my feet
spilled my drink all over my nice green shirt
Big Rob was so pretty he made my eyes hurt
my hubby rolled his own blue eyes up towards heaven
"He is everywhere...Mr. Ubiquitious Rob Pattinson!"
i squeezed his arm in sincere empathy
even i don't think i would put up with me!!

Songs that remind me of Rob

Every song from every movie
Reminds me of his specific part
Evokes a sweet or sad memory
And reverberates in my heart

Like the theme song he plays in Twilight
Fingering the notes on the grand piano
Or “Never Think” in the café that night
When Edward’s feelings start to show
“Supermassive Black Hole” makes me happy
To think of Rob as a fit and sporty kind
And what makes me supremely dreamy
Is when Rob sings “Let me sign”…

Songs of love and longing
Songs celebrating love and joy
Songs of loss and mourning
All can remind me of the boy

“Kiss me” or “Too lost in you”
“Halo” or “Sex on Fire”
Songs that leave me sad and blue
Or inflame in me lust and desire…

I love every song that Robert sings
For I love his soulful voice
I adore his fingers on guitar strings
Or piano keys or any instrument of his choice

All that a song really needs to be
Is evoke some overwhelming emotion
Then the one that slips into my reverie
Is always the one same Robert Pattinson…

All songs and no songs everywhere
Serve as constant reminders to me
For He is in the ether and in the very air
Anything I hear, anywhere I look…behold, there is He!!
(post for RAoR in response to songs reminding me of Rob)

Rob jamming in New Orleans

it was sight most exciting and loverly
our Robert happily tickling the ivory
jamming with the regular musicians
in French Quarter of New Orleans
celebrating indigenous American jazz
he is outing his true bluesman at last
so pleased he is seen in this light
and not just a mere flash in the night
but an artiste of wider abilities
with much more than posing for pretties
maybe that fine day will not be too far
for the covers to come off this explosive star!
(on pictures of Rob jamming with musicians in NO)

Thank you, Vancouver!

Vancouver’s inclement weather sent him away
To a weekend of sunshine in bright LA
Such little windows of rare opportunity
To snatch a break and some personal privacy

I so empathise with my sweet young man
Finding spaces to chill whenever he can
When the world clamours for any reason
To have a piece of our Robert Pattinson

Mass invasions fueled by fangirls’ frenzy
Or rude intrusions of buzzard papparazi
All extract their expensive cost
And personal space is irretrievably lost

No person, whether celebrity or no,
Should have their rights minimized so
Thank you, Vancouver, for your unattractive weather
That gave our Rob his well-deserved breather
It is an ill wind indeed that blows no good
So, great this worked out for our favouritest dude!
(hearing about Rob going to LA when bad weather stopped filming for BD)

Water for she-elephants

Today just cannot be beat, beat, beat
Rob is adding to the heat, heat, heat
Seeing him play with lucky she-elephants
Sizzles the panties off all us humans

Watching him stroke her on the trunk, trunk, trunk
Soft hands so suggestive on this hunk, hunk, hunk
Face softly against her wrinkly skin
Whispering, listening and taking her in

I wanna be a huge fat pachyderm, derm, derm
His careful attention makes me squirm, squirm, squirm
No wonder the creature took him in her mouth
I would do so too if I was allowed

I just cannot bear the long wait, wait, wait
The 12th of May is still way too late, late, late
To see him again on the big wide screen
Hello, Mr Pattinson, where in heaven have you been?

I am impatiently counting every night i sleep, sleep, sleep
My appetite for him runs way too deep, deep, deep
no accounting for my appropriate style or grace
Robert Douglas Thomas is to my perfectest taste!!
(Watching WFE trailers and screen caps of Rob with elephants....)

Elephant encounter

Hello to the lovely Tink and Jen,
thank you for sharing your trip with us
each of the elephants was hugely gorgeous
sad to hear about their plight in the wild
but am sure your promotion was worth the while
easy to see how the elephants affected our Rob
and how they charmed every one of the film’s mob
read about Rob’s experience in some past interview
when he talked about what he and Tai got up to
she took him up bodily with her trunk
and sniffed for peanuts on our hunk
what a lucky and pervy pachyderm she was
would fit right in with all Robloving saints and h00rs!
really appreciated every bit of the post
and how you tried to find out who was loved the most!
no matter that no single name was given
no female animal is immune to Rob Pattinson!
ciao bella!

(posted in RAoR in response to Jen and Tink's post on Random Acts of Rosie, 1st March)

Christmas goodies only for goodies...

Christmas comes but once a year
To bring every one seasonal cheer
And if we have all been nice and good
Dear Santa gets into a giving mood;
The old saint brings all manner of fine booty
To those who have been the least naughty
But he will not be making any deliveries
To any Rob-addicted h00rs and slutties!
They have been totally bad and mischievous
Commiting self-abuses most lascivious
Hell bent on their dangerous consumption
Of all aspects pertaining to Robert Pattinson!
They will not leave the young man alone -
And every last afflicted kitten, cougar and crone
Indulging every waking and dreaming moment
With lustful fantasies most lush and fervent!
For the man who would be their ideal lover,
Inserting and insinuating himself forever
Into each figment of their blown imagination
Sealing the fates of their eternal damnation...
To burn eternally in the perpectual fire
Of unremitting longing and desire
For the one so universally loved and adored
Rendering all besotted and enamoured:
Too happy to remain in his alluring prison
Too willing to surrender all logic and reason!
Such souls as us are not considered eligible
To benefit from the seasonal Christmas parable;
But to pay for every demented trangression
In perpectual hunger and thirst for Robert Pattinson...
For those whose passions will never be sated -
We will spend Christmas Rob-nogged and Pattin-sedated!
Do not waste your pity or sighs on us
Robert makes our every single day as Christmas!!
So, glad tidings of comfort and joy for the rest of you
Rob is whom we’ll want and Rob is whom we’ll do!

Rob's B-side

ah, JAG, what a wake up call
to a Rob-ass-candy-butt windfall
enjoyed the B-side of his moons
thinking about forking with his spoons
all kinds of perversions with his cutlery
all mannner of durtay cougar adultery
good to be back on this lowdown place
with his rear end staring in my face
and all my sistahs in pervilicious crime
cheering on the sidelines and keeping time
wrecking their wrists and sweet clitty tips
fantasising about His horn and hot tulips
oh, and to be infected with His sperm tsunami
ah, and to be maternal host to His baby…
sweet dreams and visions are of these…
Rob Pattinson’s As and Bs….

(post on RAoR in response to JAG's homage to Rob's B-side!)

I know who you are…

I know who you are…
An ordinary guy thrown into an extraordinary place
Suddenly offered uber-celebrity with its hectic pace
Not really comprehending your outrageous fortune
Now everyone on the planet is playing your tune
You deeply appreciate your swift transformation
To the international and coveted Robert Pattinson
But you miss the often unrecognized boy and rebel
Who trucked with you in times now unfathomable
And who could sit in the open Leicester Square
And not raise a look from any passerby there
But who will not now be safe is such a public place
On account of his wholly indisputable and coveted face
Yes, I know who you are
And I love everything about you
I love everything about you
Love everything about you
Everything about you
About you
YOU!

Twinkle Twinkle superstar

Twinkle twinkle superstar
How I wonder how you are
Up above the firmament high
Dazzling comet flashing by
Will your ball of burning gas
Go the distance to the last?
Combusting in the rarified air
Consuming oxygen lingering there
And what will happen when it ends
Where go fortune’s fickle friends?
That is why it pays to mind
Loves and ties that bond and bind
Those who love you how you are
Twinkling twinkling little star
Stay with me with your light
Stay with me with your bright
Make no promises for to keep
Just wink on me now as I sleep
Let my fire add to your glow
I let it go as I love you so
So twinkle on you shiny star
God keep you pristine as you are!

Staying sane, staying same

All invasive and opinionated people who mean well
Can take their patronizing intentions and go straight to hell!
I don’t need their obsequious patronage or looks of pity!
I don’t care for their so-called caring, concern or sympathy!
They think that I have gone stir-crazy and plain mad,
They reckon my plight is tragic and way beyond sad,
They believe I should revert to my former good sensibility,
And stop this juvenile and pathetic tomfoolery:
Because the subject of my irrational affection
Is eligible for any and every kind of objection...

He is way too young and he is not known to me;
He is a popular and international celebrity;
He is beloved and adored by every hormonal girl;
He is just the current flavor of celluloid world...
How can a woman of otherwise clear intelligence
Be party to such an unthinkable unsuitable indulgence?

But I know who he is and I know who I am,
I love myself way too much to give a damn!
A mature woman is just a girl who has become all grown,
Only she now knows better and has a mind of her own;
Her mind remains sharp and her girly bits as intact,
Her heart still thrives on passion and that is a fact!
Her desire is no less though her skin is less smooth;
She can still burn with the fires from her transpired youth!
She can still love and she can still lust;
She can still dream and she can still trust;
She can still hope and she can still believe
Though faith is too long and life is too brief...
What matters is that he is here,
He is everything she holds dear:
Every single fervent prayer;
Every mischief she did dare;
Every regret from her past
Reminds her to hold fast!

He makes me want to smile and sing!
He renews each old mundane thing!
He makes me want to laugh out loud!
He silvers the lining of each cloud!
He lifts my mood when I am blue;
He reminds me about what is true:
Love is love no matter the form,
Though it be strange and butts the norm;
If that love sustains and keeps me young,
And helps me up yet another rung,
Who am I to question its verity
When it keeps me centred in its clarity?

I have loved too often and too much
To mistake its subtle but familiar touch;
I have come far and survived this journey
Because I have always been true to me!
I love how he makes me feel this way!
I love how he makes me feel today!

So all my critics who mean so well
Can take their interfering tails to hell!
I am happy in my present condition:
Besotted and addicted to Robert Pattinson!
(after another well-meaning "talk" from a concerned "friend"...pffftt!!)

A letter to Rob

I know I am not the first one, alright?
To cry useless tears into the pillow at night,
To wish and pine for what is plainly out of sight,
To resist and deny the unwinnable fight:
To pray for Time to turn its face,
To put me right back into the race,
To have the chance and associated grace,
To receive his words, his smile, his gaze…
Oh, that I could have just one endless moment,
To be that blessed and lucky woman,
To speak in tones all clear and fervent,
As besotted slave and dedicated handmaiden…

Sir, you fill me up and you complete me,
You resurrect and you deplete me,
You infect my soul and you invade me,
You brighten me up and then you fade me…
I know you know the meaning of this:
A kiss, imagined or stolen, is still a kiss,
A bliss, however experienced, is still a bliss,
Though reason and logic both go amiss…
It was never, really, only just about you,
Though all is predicated on how you do,
My own aspirations are emerging through
That magical portal embodied by you…
You have been my own best mate,
I wove your life into my own fate,
And even that you have come too late,
My passion and need do not abate;
With you come memories of my youth,
When thoughts about Love obscured the truth
Of the red and the black of each claw and tooth
Of Life that is without compassion, pity or ruth;
And I find myself in your engulfing sphere,
When all buried desires and drives reappear
To banish the regrets and face down my fear
And follow that still small voice in inner ear…

“Be!” That is the whole of the monosyllable
So much contained in so very little,
For what of what’s right? What of what’s acceptable?
When life is too short and provably mutable?

Sir, you inspirit and you animate me,
You heal me as you reveal me,
How wonderful it is to be me
Living here now and beholding thee!

[Remembering Elvis and simply delighting again in his "company"; Reminded of how Rob is occupying that Elvis space now, and revelling in the company of all the lovely like-minded women similarly smitten by this Brit! <3]

Ramblings on 4th August

How many times will it take till I know
There’s just no getting enough of Him ever?
And how many takes will it lead time to show
This is just the beginning of Never?
Never will I take leave of my addiction,
Time will only deepen its roots inside,
And from the capture and reach of Robert Pattinson:
There is no place on earth for to run and hide….

Rob's heart donor registry

The love that I feel is inappropriate
He is come into my life way too late
The passion he ignites feeds my mind
Its reach leaves my body far behind
Nothing is impossible in imagination
Every desire within my fancy’s creation
And I can be as limber, as keen and as light
Immensely tireless every day and night….
But the gossips report he loves another
A girl more suited, prettier and younger
And of course it may only be conjecture
Neither he nor she has said for sure…
Oh, but how my heart is breaking
Every fibre inside me is aching
For the sheer inevitability
Of him loving someone not me…
Then let her be very deserving
Of the treasured love he is offering
For I cannot bear the tragedy
His heartbreak will spell death for me!
Far better that I serve a vital part
And register the use of my faithful heart
So if she should ever break his own
He can have mine on limitless loan!
To throb strongly within his breast
The rhythm of one who loved him best
And though it will mean the end of me
I am first on Rob’s heart donor registry!
Love whomever you please, my darling
As long as she keeps you brightly sparkling
Just let this part of what makes me live
Be my ultimate wedding tribute to give…
And if she proves unfeeling or untrue
At least I will beat on inside of you
Oh, that you will never need the deal!
Oh, that she will love you forever for real!
And that my Rob heart donor registry
Will remain just a fallback fantasy
Loving you with it is my constant plan
You beautiful, delighting immortal man!

Rob in the Eclipse interview…

Saw and heard him in an Eclipse interview today
Confirming I am still besotted, what else can I say?

He is so sweet, natural and unfettered,
His grace and poise could not be bettered,
Answering inane and predictable questions,
Paying gracious and responsive attentions;
No matter how tired he was or exhausted,
His humor and patience cannot be faulted,
Ah, and so beautiful and gorgeous under all that pressure
Rob is truly an international treasure!

Standing up and representing steadfast Britannia
Hey, my English babe, here’s looking at ya!
My girly bits and womanly parts get the jiggles
Every time he laughs out loud or giggles!
He drives me insanely to distraction -
The blinking screen’s preeminent attraction!
Oh My Rob!! Indeed, how do I love thee?
How to count the innumerable? Let me see….

Love you like hydrogen loves oxygen
In the constant water’s H2O equation,
Love you like violet loves the indigo
Forever adjacent in every rainbow;
Love you like the Madonna loves her Child;
Love you like Oscar loves his Wilde;
I love you like the “O” in between “R” and “B”
I will be eternally into ROB, my sweet pea!

Oh, but not to worry your pretty young head,
For I’ll not be trespassing in your bed:
Real Life is for you to experience and live,
I ask for nothing for love I freely give!
Only to know that you will be truly happy
With whoever will love you reciprocally,
And leave me fantasizing about what will never be
As I sit in front of my computer screen or TV…

So, my pretend young toy boy lover,
Get off your asscandy and come on over……
(Response to watching clip of Rob in Eclipse interview)

Remembering Rob in Winter

And yet, even as the summer sprite loses her colours,
And damp and cold stalk the darkening hours…
The warmth and heat of the memory of him remain,
Gently vaporizing the wetness of mist and rain
Into elemental molecules that waft upwards into the ether
And retain traces of him no matter the weather…

Global superstar for global super-peace!

Hey, Robert, can I ask you just one little wee thing?
Now you are The Global Superstar and everything…
Will you give your massive talents and appeal a huge release
And work towards getting the elusive global super-peace?

I know that all women who live in different nations
Will see the perfection of my logical calculations,
And join in this huge and wonderful conspiracy
To conquer the whole world with loving diplomacy!

That plan will put an end to all strife and war,
And will forever stop the cannon fire and roar,
That will make it too meaningless to fight
And bring resolutions to pass overnight!

If every wife, girlfriend, spouse or lover
Would nag their men endlessly and together
To put aside their differences and political spats
For their women’s enduring loyalty to Rob Pattz…

That those men who choose to stay aggressive and staid
Can forget about ever getting ravished and laid,
And all the women would take a celibate vow:
No love or sex forever and starting NOW!

And, Robert, I know that if you would only ask,
Every woman would find it such an easy task
To do you this one small and simple favour
For their most preferred and deserving award winner!

How can any red-blooded woman ever say “No”,
If you asked sweetly and if you promised to show
Your appreciation the way they would totally buy :
That into their peaceful country you will drop by?

And you’d favour them with your delightful presence,
And entertain and flirt with your adoring audience -
If only they could persuade their menfolk
To eschew their warring and macho yoke?

Oh Robert, this plan is definitely ready to rock,
Its simplicity will be such a shock!
But such a huge gamble is only going to succeed
If you gave it your consideration, and if you agreed…

Come on, my sparkling knight in shining armour,
Take up your role as the new world’s redeemer,
Save us all and rally for universal democracy!
Save the planet, save the species…and save me!

So, global superstar you, Rob, pretty please…
Will you offer yourself thus for world peace?
(Suggestion for another use for Rob's awards-winning ways...)

Rob awarded honors at MTV awards…

The sun is out and shining about
Breaking up the cold and wet and grey
Rob has been honored and, without a doubt,
The public accolades would have made his day…

And still I am stuck in this selfsame place
With no hint of help, remission or succor
Hanging onto his voice, his laughing eyes and face…
Hanging on as if this will last beyond forever…

And every tear in the reality wall between
Sends me a glimmer of hope and light
That somewhere is an unrehearsed scene
That will bring me into his line of life and sight…

And what then would he really see?
Not the unforgettable creature in my mind
Who smiles in my mirror right back at me
And elicits feelings from him of the loving kind…

But someone from his mother’s generation
Fond and affectionate in a familial way
Who would not incite or encourage passion
Or divert him from his current romantic sway…

And he will know of the things I dare not speak
Of all the feelings bursting within my breast
Of the wanting and pining he does not seek
But that he appreciates along with the rest…

For he is well aware of his own ridiculous appeal
Although he does not comprehend its logic or reason
So often told the way girls and women feel
He resigns to the impact of being Rob Pattinson…

Oh, but he WILL love me, this I know,
If Love stays Love no matter the specific form,
If he stays long enough to hear my words flow
Although they will be beyond expected norm…

Yes, he will love me for sure and never the less
For he will be moved to remember and not forget
How my golden love has passed the fiery test
And it will not relent and it will not let…

It does not want to possess or to hold tight
But free the subject of its zeal and passion
Allow the world to revel in, enjoy and delight
To the wonderful facets of Robert Pattinson…

And he may even shed a tear or two
For I believe he is of a tender heart
And he will feel my pain and rue
Touched by how his living plays a part

And if he be a man of flesh, blood and bone
He will recognize the universality of my fate
And if he not be of wood, ice or stone
He will behold me and he will consecrate…

My love for him is pure, free and sacred even
It is all joyous suffering and all emancipating
He must feel the awe to be the one so chosen
To bear a gift so rare and totally liberating…

To be loved so utterly and completely
To have no strings or bonds that tie
To be involved so deep and yet indirectly
No more commitment than a whispered sigh…

Yes, if given a smidgeon of a chance at all
Rob will love me and will always forever know
My ardor for him will never diminish or pall
And he will be blessed wherever he may go…

So, Robert, wherever you are in the world
You so deserve all the awards given and more
And just a tip from this one besotted girl
They are not one tenth of what else lies in store!

Ramblings on 7th June again...

I cannot remember a time in the last couple of years
When Rob has not been in my eyes and in my ears
Ever since the first time I saw him on big screen
Entering Forks High café as the groovy vampire teen
I was totally mesmerized and fully fixated
Unremittingly captured and formally designated
An untreatable sufferer of the incurable condition
Colonized comprehensively by Robert Pattinson
And how the time has flown irresolutely by
And yet how I remain besotted by that guy
Just watching him sitting in the audience
His enjoyment of the occasion and the exuberance
His very comfortable way of being how he is truly
Living every emerging moment spontaneous and fully
Every single giggle and laugh and gesture
Sends me into paroxysms of rapture
It was how I have loved the late Elvis
In exactly the same unreasonable way as this
I worry now about burning forever
In the raging temperatures of the fever
That consumes every logical fibre in my brain
And relegates resistance to the sea-bound drain
Lost I am now and lost all Roblovers are
Eternally orbiting this global superstar…

(on more viewings of pictures of Rob at MTV awards event)

Rob on MTV awards soon...

Robert appearing on MTV
That will elicit squeals from me
Just loved his Tom Cruise skit
Made me love him more than a bit
No matter if he wins anything or not
Nobody gets close to his holy freaking hawt
Am sure he will come up with another way
To take my breaths clean and quite away
Always something fresh and novel
To endear him anew to more people
But for those of us already smitten
Thoroughly trapped and sweetly bitten
Nothing he does will be a surprise
That boy will always get my prize!
Running out of ways to describe his superlatives
This supreme overlord of willing captives!
Oh rip the heart right out of me and be done
And I know I will not be the only one!