Rob to be at London WFE premiere

WFE premiere in London will be the best
For Rob will be there at his own request
Lucky Londoners are in for a treat
Having their boy home is excellent feat
So glad he will be with friends and family
So pleased he will be bright and cheery
To walk once more the familiar ways
To relive those other yesterdays
When he was free to come and go
His life not put on public show
Though of course all now know who he is
But will probably leave him to bask in bliss
Celebrity there is a much ado about nothing
His home’s his castle, he can do his thing
Wander about in his comfy old haunts
Get up to ordinary tricks and jaunts
Until he has to tip his hat again
And leave for Vancouver’s driving rain
But he would have had the loveliest break
And leave his Londoners raving in his wake…
(Responding to news of Rob attending London WFE premiere)

Water for she-elephants

Today just cannot be beat, beat, beat
Rob is adding to the heat, heat, heat
Seeing him play with lucky she-elephants
Sizzles the panties off all us humans

Watching him stroke her on the trunk, trunk, trunk
Soft hands so suggestive on this hunk, hunk, hunk
Face softly against her wrinkly skin
Whispering, listening and taking her in

I wanna be a huge fat pachyderm, derm, derm
His careful attention makes me squirm, squirm, squirm
No wonder the creature took him in her mouth
I would do so too if I was allowed

I just cannot bear the long wait, wait, wait
The 12th of May is still way too late, late, late
To see him again on the big wide screen
Hello, Mr Pattinson, where in heaven have you been?

I am impatiently counting every night i sleep, sleep, sleep
My appetite for him runs way too deep, deep, deep
no accounting for my appropriate style or grace
Robert Douglas Thomas is to my perfectest taste!!
(Watching WFE trailers and screen caps of Rob with elephants....)